The Gratitude Habit

They say it takes doing something seven times to establish a habit.  For me, it seems, it takes an entire year.  The particular habit that I set out to establish began with a thesis I decided to test out a little over a year ago.  My idea was that if I took time each day to reflect on the gifts and abundance in my life that it might just make a difference in my mood.

A year later.

It worked.  In fact, it started working immediately.  I have said it before, but a gratitude practice is a shortcut to happiness.  It just plain works. 

Not to trivialize the mood lifting ability of the gratitude practice, but what I didn’t bargain on is how wonderful it was to connect with each gratitude buddy throughout the year, how we doubled the gratitude as we shared in one another’s appreciation for the little things, and on occasion, the big things in life.  Sharing gratitudes offered a daily glimpse at another person’s internal life.  It was really lovely connecting in this way. 

There were some big things to celebrate, but most often my buddies and I expressed gratitude for the little things in life.  And what I came to believe is those little things are really not so little.  Those little things are what make life grand.  And acknowledging them allows you to experience them more deeply. 

I invite you to share your own expressions of gratitude with others this season at the website Express Your Gratitude.  In doing so you might even win a one hour massage session with me or another participating massage therapist.  

I invite you also to grab a gratitude buddy and try the practice on for yourself!  Now that I am firmly in the habit, I would happily exchange gratitude lists with anyone who wants to try it out. 

Wishing you balance,

Nancy

On Time

"You spend your time on what you think is important."  This, a pearl of wisdom overheard when I was giving chair massages at the Rochester Women's expo.  Serendipitously, I had recently been thinking about that very idea.  Fresh from my retreat, it came to me, as I took the time to finally face the mountains of stuff left over from my elementary teaching years, that I have been using the excuse that I don't have enough time to put off tackling this intimidating job.  In my own defense, I have had an extraordinarily packed schedule for the last three years, but the other part of the truth is that the free time I did have was not always spent in the most productive, healthy, or life affirming ways.


Something I am beginning to realize is that it isn't about not having enough time.  It is about not allocating the time I have.  I teach a few undergraduate courses at a university.  The other night we started talking about Facebook.  Two of my ten students told me that they had deleted their Facebook accounts.  They talked about how much time it was taking from their studies, as they were constantly being informed of new messages and "likes" as they worked on their laptops, they were unable to stay away from the constant chatter.  Concerned that it was interfering with their studies, they both deleted their accounts.  The rest of us were shocked by the drastic decision to delete rather than just hide their presence on the site.  Shocked and a little envious.  After all, we know the power that technology has over our time.  We all, at times, want to be free of that. 

A week later, both of the students had caved.  Both had checked their accounts.  What was supposed to be the start of our class resembled what I imagine a support group for people trying to quit Facebook might be like.  We joked about it, but really that urge to check in on our friends, to read what they have posted, to see if anyone liked what we posted- it can be a strong urge and it can pull us away from other things.  Technology in general- our smart phones, our laptops, our ipads. (Ok, YOUR ipad.  I don't have one.  Yes, I am jealous.) 

I realized, when I got back from my retreat, all technologically-clean and sober, that I really have a lot more time than I thought I did.  I was just spending it in ways that made me feel like I didn't have any time!  I really like the idea that if we evaluate what we spend our time doing, we can be clued into seeing what we think is important.  And if we don't agree with our assessment, then we can make changes the truly reflect how we want to be spending our time.

May you have all the time you need.

Wishing you balance,

Nancy

Living Fully

Some time ago, I tried a challenge for myself- I did my best to try to go for a week, I believe it was only a week, without multi-tasking.  Like I said, I believe it was only a week.  It felt, however, like an eternity.  I was inspired by an article I read in which the author tried this challenge for a month.  I was inspired also by troubling multi-tasking habits that I had developed.  Eating while being on the computer was the big one.  It seemed that I couldn't eat alone without being in front of the computer.  I was so bored when I would eat by myself.  It was really difficult.  But eating while looking at the computer was taking away from my really tasting my food.   So I tried my hardest for a week to uni-task only.  The challenge felt like a failure.  It served to make me more aware of my multi-tasking tendencies, but it did little to change them.  


I recently spent 5 days in silence at a meditation retreat.  As I drove myself home from that extraordinary experience, I did simply that.  I drove.  No radio.   No thinking about my day, no rehearsing that conversation that I wanted to have with a certain someone.  No planning my next dance class.  No filing my nails.  Yes.  I do that.  Name a massage therapist who doesn't.  But on this drive I didn't even think about doing any of those things. I simply drove.  And as I drove I noticed how many people I passed who were clearly driving with divided focus- talking on their cell phones, eating, texting.  I recently queried my friends about what they have witnessed drivers do behind the wheel.  Shaving.  Reading.  Eating cereal.  Putting on makeup.  Brushing one's teeth.  That one bears repeating.  Brushing one's teeth.  (And spitting out the window!)   


For a few days after the retreat I actually lost the ability to multi-task.  Arriving at  friend's house a bit early, I caught her finishing up a some computer work, so I just sat in silence while she continued.   I was very content just sitting.  She offered up music, but I was happy with the silence.  Anyone who spends any time with me knows that I have a tendency to grab my phone impulsively if  the person with me picks up his or her phone, or if they leave the room, or if there is simply a lull in the conversation.   Must  See  If  Someone  E-mailed  Me.  Must  See  If  Someone  Liked  Me  On Facebook.  Must  See  If  I Am Loved.  But, I didn't even have that urge.  I just sat there.  And I was content.  In fact, I was way more content, way more filled up, than if I had checked my smart phone and discovered that 42 of my friends and God himself had liked my status message.  That moment, just sitting there, felt very full to me.  Nothing more was needed.


My favorite result of being so mindful for so many days, is that I get a lot more pleasure out of eating.  Right after I got home I helped myself to three dried cherries.  Three.  In the past, I would have taken a handful.  Why not?  They are small!  But all I wanted were three.  In the past I would have eaten them while I worked.  Why not?  But this time I just ate them.  One at a time, chewing slowly.  The flavor was incredible.   It was an extraordinary treat.  The best dried cherries I ever had.  


Now a few days post retreat, I am listening to music again.  I even had  the news on the radio playing for a few minutes before the sound of it got on my nerves.  I do get an occasional impulse to check my phone to see if I am loved.  The stirrings of  mulit-tasking are starting to come back.  But, right now, they are only hints of an impulse.  I am determined to be mindful as I go about my day- to really pay attention.   I think that is the secret of living fully.  Not doing more.  Doing less.  But doing it more mindfully.


Wishing you balance,


Nancy

La Danse

I have been using a photo of balanced stones as a logo for a few years now.  The stones illustrate balance beautifully and I received positive feedback about the image from most.  And although I love the image of perfectly balanced stones, they never felt 100% right in representing what it is that I do.  Beautiful, but a little too serious and a little too static, I think.  Body in Balance is about loving living in your body and to me that implies joy and movement.  So for now, I am replacing the stones with the familiar joyful, moving image of Matisse's dancers.  The painting is in the public domain so it feels right to me to use it for now, knowing that at some wonderful "aha" moment in the future the permanent Body In Balance logo will be born.


I wish you joy and movement AND balance.

Love Living In Your Body!

Nancy

The Seed

As I was sorting through my files and re-reading old writings, I came across a piece I wrote as part of my application for massage school.  People often ask me why I chose to become a massage therapist.  Below is the story of that first moment, the seed that eventually led to that decision, many years later.

There was a defining moment in my life, when I was in undergraduate school studying dance, when an Alexander Teacher “walked” each member of our class. First we observed our classmates walk around the studio, noticing their idiosyncrasies. We noted the rhythm of the walk, the initiation, how the weights of the body were being carried, etc... Then, our teacher put her hands gently on the walker and gave some simple images. When the student began her walk again, it was like a magic act; the walk had changed. Footsteps were lighter, arms swung more freely...the students were taller! When my turn came I remember that I wanted to run and skip to celebrate the freedom that I felt in my body.

Every since that experience, I have been fascinated by the intelligence of the body. I do not believe, as I once heard a scientist claim, that the human skeleton is somehow flawed, that we suffer from a kink in the evolutionary process, that our spines cannot adequately support this business of being erect. Although many among us suffer back pain, I don’t subscribe to the notion that it is a natural result of the aging process. I believe, instead, that it is a result of our culture, with its constant stress and misuse of the body. I believe that the body is intelligent and that pain and disease are often the result of restrictions that prevent the body from being able to function to its potential. Freeing these blockages and allowing energy to flow, enables the body to find balance and health. Our bodies, when in harmony, are free from pain and restriction.

So there it is.  The seed that started it all- being walked by an Alexander teacher.  I remember it vividly.  That one delightful moment when my body, free of restrictions, was suddenly a beautiful place to live and it felt as if my entire world had changed.   It is that change that I hope to pass along to others.

Wishing You Balance,

Nancy

Gratituesdays

This past Thanksgiving marked the launch of my year long gratitude project.  Every month, I have invited someone to join me in exchanging a list of daily gratitudes for the entire month.  It has been a remarkable experience.  Although reluctant at first, my August gratitude buddy turned out to be a most enthusiastic participant; it didn’t take long for him to understand how profoundly enriching this practice can be.   We shared our gratitude list by e-mail, each with a subject line that reflected the day of the week:  Gratitude Sunday, Gratitude Monday, Gratitude Tuesday.... And on one one particular Tuesday, we cleverly ran the words together and the concept of Gratituesdays was born.

Each Tuesday, I would like to invite people to share their gratitudes on my Body In Balance Facebook wall.  Taking time to express gratitude is a wonderfully life affirming practice on its own, but sharing these gratitudes with others deepens the experience.   It is a beautiful way to connect and to be inspired.

Please join us!  “Like” the Body In Balance page.  Join in on the sharing!  

Wishing you balance,

Nancy

A Year Of Lessons

Birthday time!

I just turned...

older.

And perhaps a little wiser.

To prove the wiser part to myself, I decided to try to identify a few life lessons I learned this year.  Here it goes, in no particular order, unless you count the order that they popped into my disorganized brain.  Random order, then.

1.  It might be fun for a time to reinvent yourself, but after a time, it is disorienting and a lot of work.  It always comes back to authenticity.  I just have to be myself.  This doesn't mean being stuck and static.   Learning, growing and adapting are good, but it's no good to try to change who I am.   There are all kinds of way to be, but as a wise yoga teacher said in class the other week, "Be virtuosic at being you."  Yes to that.

2.  It takes a village.  I love my solitude, but isolation is, well, isolating.  Connection is vital and healthy.  Connections as simple as smiling at a stranger can be nourishing to the soul.

3.  Environment is important.  For whatever reason, the vibe of where I spend my time, makes a huge difference in my mood.  I could probably be very happy doing almost anything for a living if I were in a beautiful place.  I am lucky though- I love doing bodywork and both my spaces are beautiful, so I don't have to chose between beauty and doing what I love.  My home office is magical.  One Life Chiropractic is just beautiful.  I dare you to walk in the waiting room and not get an immediate sense of calm.   I am so happy that my clients have a choice- some prefer a homey atmosphere.  A professional atmosphere with a comfortable waiting room will work better for other clients.

4.  Being careful with money is important, but sometimes you just have to spend some dough.  When I realized that it was taking me 20 minutes to do what could be done on a friend's new computer in less than one minute, and if time is indeed money, I was losing all kinds of it working on my very cute, but very out of date mac.  New mac in hand....simple computering is indeed simple now- the way it should be.  I can finally catch up on all that I need to do, simple stuff and sophisticated alike- and not spend my day looking at that spinning pinwheel that indicates that my computer is trying as hard as she can to climb that hill, "I think I can....I think I can....I think I can...."

5. I alone am in control of my happiness.  As soon as I link my happiness to something external- I am in big trouble.  I can't really control anything outside myself.  It is hard enough control my own thoughts, but it seems key.  What is watered grows.  A brain can be changed.  My gratitude practice has shown me that focusing on the wonder of life can indeed make for a more wonderful life.  And for that, I am very grateful.

Five seems like a good number.  If I stayed at the computer longer, I could probably go on and on.   That is the nature of lessons- they are opportunistic and insistent.  They just keep showing up.  This is something for which I am also grateful  Very grateful.


Wishing you balance,

Nancy